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Hair Today, Kon Tomorrow/Transcript
This is a transcript of the episode "Hair Today, Kon Tomorrow" Kin: "And now, Kin-credible, And Kon-believable, Will make the lovely Laney, Disappear!" Laney: "Have you tested this thing?" '' ''Kin: "In a minute, the answer will be yes!" Drumroll Kon: “Abracadabra!” is pulled back to reveal Corey, wearing a large wig & Kin screaming Kon: “Laney’s turned into a girl!” Corey: “Guys, it’s me, Corey.” '' ''Kin & Kon: “Phew.” Kon: “What’s with the head-cape?” Corey: “Remember when we watched that special on 80s hair metal band “Mullet Bullet?” Flashback Laney: “Sooo hair metal is about big hair, tight pants, and high pitched songs about crazy love?” Corey: “Yup, So glad that fad’s over.” to present Corey: “But then I heard that Mayor Mellow wanted the hairdo-iest band in town to rock this year’s “Doggie-’Do Dog Show”, All the competing dogs will have hairdos, And so will we!” Kon: “Hair metal? Wicked mullets, & Wicked-er drum solos? I’M IN!” Kin: “Bring your magic drumsticks! Dogs love magic tricks!” plummets from somewhere off screen whimpers in pain Corey: “Sorry Lanes, If you wanna harsh on my plan, you gotta be here on time” Kate: “Corey’s new hair is so lame...Why do we love it so much?!” Allie: “Don’t ask why, Just squeal!” and Allie squeal wig transition Mina: “Uhm...He’s a bit big for your purse, Trina.” Trina: “Then it BETTER not WIN.” Trina: “I want best in show for best in purse.” Mina: “You don’t get to ‘keep’ the winning dog.” Trina: “But I’M the best! Who else deserves the best dog, Mina!” Mina: “Uhhh.” Trina: “Oooo! Look! That one comes with a flea picker monkey!” Mina: “Speaking of fleas, Looks like the circus is in town.” Trina: “What are you hairballs doing here at my dog mall?” Corey: “Mayor Mellow needed the hairdo-iest band to rock these hounds.” Kon: “Yeah, And with wigs this lush, Who’s hairier than us!” Trina: “UGH, I will not have my future purse dog’s ears irritated by their un-listen-to-able noises! Hmmmm…If Corey needs those wigs to play, then- Mina!” Mina: “Fleas, Here ‘ya go, Trina! Did you know monkeys could punch with their tails?” Trina: “Good luck with your wig-gig, I bet you’re just itching to play~!” Corey: “Wow, that was awfully nice of Trina to unsuspiciously wish us good luck.” Grojband: “Thanks Trina!” Grojband: “FLEAS!” screaming Kon: “I-” own face with Corey’s guitar “-Can’t” smash “-Take it anymore!” smash Corey: “We gotta get rid of these flea-infested wigs!” Corey: “That’s it!” Kon: “Wait- No wigs equals NO DRUM SOLO!” Corey: “No time for math, Kon! We gotta FRY these ‘fros!” Kon: “FINE, TAKE IT.” Skeevy looking conman from offscreen: “Psst.” Kon: “Huh?” Skeevy looking conman from offscreen: “Psst.” Kon: “Who?” Skeevy looking conman from offscreen: “PSSST.” Kon: “Wha?” Skeevy looking conman: “You look like you lost your best friend there, son.” Kon: “Yup, It’s that age-old story, Boy finds hair, Boy loses hair.” Skeevy looking conman: “If hair is what you seek, look no further.” Kon (reading from bottle): “Magic Mutt Hair Tonic.” Skeevy looking conman: “One tiny drop will grow any ‘fro, gro any ‘do, Suuure it’s for dogs, But it’ll work on you, Like magic.” Kon: “Wo-hoh! Stand back, strange dude, One mega-mullet, Comin’ up!...huh?” Skeevy looking conman: “You’re supposed to drink it.” Laney: “So, Core, How’re we gonna get our lyrics from Trina?” Corey: “Hair metal songs are power-ballads about crazy love, well, Trina’s gonna have an “I-love-tiny-dogs” freakout any second, She’ll lose her mind, and we’ll have our lyrics! All we need now is-” Kin: “Our wigs are clean!” Laney: “Good thing that dog wash was right next to that dog hair incinerator.” Cool Transition Kon: “I’ll never get my hair metal drum solo now...there’s gotta be another way, think, Kon, Think!” Kon: “Abracadabra! Weeeee-Whoopsie daisy!” Kon is knocked out Kon: “Huh? What happened? Who am I? I’m all covered in dog hair, I must be a--dog! -I mean, Ruff.” Kin: “Kon sure will be happy to get his wig, Hey, where’d Kon go?” Kin, & Laney, Call for Kon Kon: “Arf!” Kin: “Sorry, boy, I don’t have time to play fetch, We need to find Kon.” '' ''Kon: “Arf Arf!” Kin: “Ok- fine, just once-” Kin: “Hair tonic, Hit his head, Thinks he’s a dog...OH NO, KON THINKS HE’S A DOG.” Corey: “You mean this slobbery mound of fur is Kon?! Sweet!” Laney: “Sweet!? How’re we gonna play without a drummer, Core!” Mayor Mellow: “Welcome to the Doggie-’Do’s Dog show! We’re gonna start with everyone’s favorite event: the dog-stacle course! Our dogs must make it over the bath of doom, past the loitering cat & avoid the dog catcher, before returning the golden slipper to their masters.” Corey: “That’s it! We’ll enter Dog-Kon into the dog competition! He’ll snap out of it as soon as he see that he can’t do what the actual “Doggie-’Do” dogs CAN do.” that convenient transition Mayor Mellow: “On your mark.” Kin: “Now don’t feel bad when you lose this thing.” '' ''Mayor Mellow: “Get set!” Kin: “After all, you’ve only been a dog for like-” '' ''gets interrupted by the capgun Mayor Mellow: “Go!” Kin: “COME ON, BOY!” cheers and Kon-Dog celebrates Mayor Mellow: “What a good dog!” Laney: “So, That was unexpected.” Corey: “Yeah, even Triena loves Kon-Dog.” Trina: “Forget a tiny dog to ride in my purse, I want this big dog to carry my purse! You’ll be my best fwiend-y wiend-y” Mina: “But, I thought I was your best fwiend-y wiend-y” Trina: “Things change, Mina! It’s philosophy.” '' ''Laney: “If we don’t get Kon back, Our gig’ll be ruined!...Core, Why aren’t you reacting to me saying “ruined”!” Corey: “Those dogs are responding to their trainer’s whistle, maybe if we play music, Kon’s drummer instincts will kick in! And he’ll remember who he is!” Laney: “That’s great! But we still don’t have any lyrics.” Corey: “When Trina discovers her favorite dog is really Kon, her diary will open right up!” Laney: “So Kon has to win?” Corey: “You saw Kon back there! What dog could possibly beat him!” Mayor Mellow: “Only 3 dogs remain! Yippie, Kon-Dog, & 5 time defending Doggie-’Do’s champion: Sparkles.” Corey: “We should probably cross our fingers.” Mayor Mellow: “What better way to determine man’s best friend, then by hearing those 3 little words: I love you” Sparkles: “Ri ruv rou.” Mayor Mellow: “Excellent! It’s the next round for this hound!” Mayor Mellow: “I love you” Yippie: “YAP,YAP, YAP” Mayor Mellow: “Well there’s no need to shout! Because you’re out!” Mayor Mellow: “I love you” Kon-Dog: “Aw, Mayor Mellow, I love you too!” Mayor Mellow: “Dog-kon-it! I feel the love! This charmin’ dog is a cut above!” Trina: “Aw! A B-F-F who says he loves me!” Mina: “But-” Trina: “Zip it! I’m bonding with a dog.” Mayor Mellow: “Only 2 contestants left, The dogsled race will decide this year’s Doggie-’Do’s winner!” Corey: “If we want Kon-dog to win this, we may need to teach a new dog an old trick.” snaps his fingers, the groupies appear Corey: “I’ve got a super special Grojband mission, ‘you 2 up for it?” and Allie squeal Trina: “Gasp! We’re about to find out who my new Mina will be!” Mina: “”New Mina”??” Trina: “Only my best friend can be called Mina, Mina. You’ll be demoted to Mina number 2.” Mina: “Thanks for keeping me in the picture, Trina.” Mayor Mellow: “Dogs get ready, Dogs get set, ‘hope the right dog wins, Cus Mellow placed a bet.” Corey: “Hey boy! It’s magic time!” Kon-Dog: “My magic drumsticks!” Kon-Dog: “Abracadabra!” Corey: “Now!” Mayor Mellow: “Well, Looks like Sparkles ran away, By way of default, your winner is-” Trina: “Mine!” squeals and giggles as kon-dog licks her face shaver buzzing Corey: “Say “Hi” to your new “B-F-F”, Trina.” '' ''Trina: “What? EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW. IT. LICKED. MY. FAAAAAAAAAACE!” mode, Anger Corey: “Let’s get Kon that drum solo!” Begins, “Dog Gone” Lyrics Corey: “I fought for you baby and I'd fight again. You weren't just my love you were my best friend. You dog gone dog tagged my heart and sent it off to war.” Kon: “Arf, arf! Huh? Dogs don’t have fingers…I must be a drummer!” Corey (more in the background as Kon is speaking): “You gave my dog tied love shaped hearts. Something to care for.” Kon: “Drum solo!” [Dru m Solo] Corey/Kin/Laney: “You dog gone tagged my heart and sent it off to war. My dogs are barking up a storm and I ain't eating dog food no more.” Corey: “Yeah!” Song Kon: “Being a dog was great, Everyone scratches your tummy, and the world is your bathroom!” Mayor Mellow: “You guys were great today, And so was your dog! Hey! Where’d he go?” Corey: “Thanks, Mayor Mellow, But we’re done with hair, what matters in music is soul, And being a dog band grows hair on that soul! Then you have to wash the dandruff flakes off it or they cover up who you really are and you start acting like an animal, Instead of playing wicked guitar licks, you’re just licking the faces of your fans.” and his owner plummet from the sky Corey: “Thanks for coming out, everyone!” door closes, End of episode Category:Transcripts